PHILADELPHIA, PA—In an extreme act of defiance towards sneaker culture as a whole, a local sneaker store, who will remain nameless for legal purposes, has released a “Backdoor List” in place of their raffle winner list. Unsurprisingly, the new list matches up perfectly with their last 3 “raffle winner” lists, showing that they’ve completely stopped caring about looking fair in the eyes of their consumers.
We spoke with a frustrated local who said, “I can’t believe they’re just announcing their backdoor customers, you would think that Adidas would do something about this, but they seem to care even less than the store.” Thankfully, the local was able to cop off adidas.com, as their last 3 Yeezy releases have sat for 2+ days. When asking the store about their practices, the manager stated, “We prefer to let our shoppers know that they won’t have a chance to cop any sought-after releases, so they don’t show up on release day and ruin the vibe. Our last Off-White release was awful. I had to get up and help people three whole times.” Adidas declined to comment but did desperately ask us to tell our friends that Yeezys are still available on site.