PARIS, FRANCE – The advent of Virgil Abloh as the new Menswear Artistic Director has brought a wave of unique flair and style to the Louis Vuitton brand. However, many higher-ups have expressed their concerns over the revolutionary changes Abloh has incorporated into the massive fashion conglomerate.
Michael Burke who is the current CEO of Louis Vuitton and amateur carrier pigeon enthusiast commented, “While we’ve certainly had creative differences with Mr. Abloh in the past, this time we strongly believe his aggressive rebranding campaign has gone too far.” Burke continues, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, the guy is a fashion genius, but he has no boundaries. Like, at all. We’ve had to confiscate all the sharpies in the building because he won’t stop with the quotes. It doesn’t matter what it is, in progress pieces, the scrap LV leather still on the factory floor, even Joe’s bag lunch, if it’s got words on it, he’s there with that goddamn sharpie ready to quote it up and sign his name. Sure, we’re making a killing backdooring Joe’s signed tuna sandwich every day as an “Off-White Original,” but in the end, it’s just not worth it.” Sources confirm that the Off-White x Louis V x Joe “TUNA FISH SANDWICH” is holding steady on StockX in the streetwear/handbag section. A quote from an insider reselling source reads, “Hypebeasts are literally eating it up.”