SOHO, NEW YORK NY- Long time sneaker enthusiast and dedicated hypebeast, Richard Head, age 24, has recently been questioning the stability of his relationship with his girlfriend who, due to privacy reasons, wished to remain anonymous for this article. Upon his recent purchase from a limited PALACE drop, direct from the PALACE website himself, Head noticed an anomaly in the reCAPTCHA system, a system used by many streetwear clothing outfitters to combat the wave of bots in the community.
When we arrived at Mr. Head’s residence, he answered the door a broken man, an image not helped by the oversized Virgin Mary Supreme blanket draped over his shoulders in mourning. “(Anonymous) left this morning. I wish this whole thing never happened, bro. Like, why couldn’t my CAPTCHA be like, choosing the image of the cars, or storefronts or something? Instead, I just saw her and some loser holding hands. I mean, the guy wasn’t even dressed well. He was wearing Vans. Vans, bro. Not even the Undercover collab ones, not even checkered ones, just some boring Old Skool blues.”
At this point in the interview, Head paused to complete the setup of his newly purchased Android smartphone. He continued, “Maybe I asked her to be my proxy one too many times. Was my relationship worth copping that one pair of All Hallow’s Eve Blazers at Concepts? You be the judge. Honestly, I’m not sure if my fit would survive without it.”