Supreme is back in action and you, the stupid consumer reading this, need to be told what to buy. Don’t pay attention to the various other Supreme FW ’19 picks from respectable news sites which released 2 weeks ago when the preview was announced. Instead, pay attention to our picks a week late into the season. Here we go! (extremely Mario voice):
Blu Burner Phone
Much like the Band-Aids or Super Soaker of last season, this is one of those impossible-to-justify accessories that I know I’ve got to have. It’s obnoxious as hell, inevitably overpriced, and utterly useless — I don’t even have a drug dealer to call. Part of me wondered if such a hype phone with no smart features could get everyone to chill with the phone addiction, but the realist in me knows it will have the opposite effect when everyone is having to re-learn T9 just to text mom for her credit card again. At least if I load a SIM into this bad boy I can call my girl with a number she hasn’t blocked, show her I’m doing well enough to afford two phones, and finally win her back.
Facemask Polartech Camp Cap
After taking a long look through this season’s lineup, I have to say that the Facemask Polartec Camp Cap truly grabbed my attention. What exactly are we looking at here? A hat? A neck warmer? A brick? Only time will tell, but one thing is for sure, it’s a must-have item for anyone looking to warm their head, protect their neck, and confuse everyone around them. I will undoubtedly be proxying everyone I can so I have a lifetime supply of these gems because it’s obvious that the Antarctica market is as strong as ever, so there will be some major competition for these beauties. Never has an item meant for the cold been so fire.
Wool Windowpane Overcoat
Let’s be real, I probably won’t be able to buy this, but every season I tell myself “This is it, I’m getting the overcoat.” This season we have the textured wool windowpane overcoat, in both pink and black, I will cop the black. When the drop happens I’ll get a card decline, but I’ll be safe, this isn’t a bogo after all. But wait! The mobile app is unresponsive and by the time I get to add it in my cart I get the slow, slow, burn of a “that size is out of stock” message. This year’s going to be different and the fit of my dreams will happen, this overcoat is the final piece, I will probably cop on StockX in march though.
The Most Hooded Sweatshirt
My favorite piece the season is the “The Most Hooded Sweatshirt”. You hear it a lot, good from afar but far from good. This hoodie is actually good from afar and even better closeup. From the other side of the street, it’s just a classic Supreme hoodie with the text in different font colors. Upon a closer review, there are words in each letter, these words make up the phrase “Who is fucking us the most” which really speaks to me. Is it the bot companies whose software only works on 3 drops then never works again? Or is it the proxies that are blazing fast when you test them but are banned during the drop? It could even be the monthly “cook group” I’m in where there’s so much information you can’t focus on the important information. I don’t know who is fucking us the most but I do know I need that sweatshirt, even if I have to buy it on StockX.
Bandana Box Logo Hooded Sweatshirt
My pick is the box logo because I don’t own a box logo and would really like one.
Spellout N-3B Parka
I absolutely love the Spellout N-3B Parka that Supreme is dropping with the F/W collection. It is like a fucking Harry Potter invisibility cloak for the fall. I could just lay in a pile of leaves for hours and not only be warm but not be seen either. I could hide in the woods waiting for unsuspecting kids and just scare the crap out of them. Hell, I could rob a bank, run to the woods and get away with ease. What a piece. So many possibilities.
Drama S/S Top
If being petty was a professional sport this would be the home team’s jersey. And the fact that this top is a sports jersey makes it so much better. Just like sports, talking shit could be a past time or a full-time job. Here at DSR, nothing fulfills our ethos of talking shit until it’s a full-time job more than a sports jersey with DRAMA blasted across the front.
God’s Favorite S/S Work Shirt
I haven’t seen this on any favorites lists so far, so I’m praying (pun intended) that it remains slept on through release. As someone who has “aged out” of 90% of Supreme’s offerings according to my wife, mom, dad, closest friends, work colleagues, and therapist, their button-downs are some of the last pieces I can get away with. As soon as I saw this one, I knew it was destined for two fits: Christmas and Easter. Being a good Catholic, I’d never wear this into a place of worship, but you better believe as soon as Mass is over, I’m getting this fit off. Not only will every family member at the Christmas gathering know I’m a jawnz enthusiast, but they will also be reminded who God’s Favorite really is… hint: it’s not Supreme, it’s the guy wearing it.